Broken Toys

This post is about broken toys. You’d think that I really hate it when toys break, but the truth of the matter is that I absolutely LOVE it. Love love it. It gives me a bulletproof reason to dump them in the trash making the insane load of crap in my house just a little bit lighter.

I have no idea where these toys all come from. We practice minimalist parenting (I have no idea if that’s a thing. If not, I just made it up. I’m trade marking it NOW. 😉 )

What that means to us is that my kids don’t get Christmas presents from us or “Santa” before they are one. They can’t do anything with them anyway. We also don’t get my kids hardly anything for their birthdays. One year my three year old got a tricycle – she’d been asking for almost a year and I found it on sale (a RADIO FLYER!) for $15. But usually it’s just books. We do “breakfast birthday books” where I set out the books we got for them (usually two, but my baby only got one on her birthday this year) so they are waiting for the little one when they wake up and come down for breakfast. I read them to her while my husband cooks whatever they want for their birthday breakfast (yup, my husband is amazing, he cooks all the time. Be jealous. I don’t apologize for it.) But that’s really it!

We are very blessed with three sets of great grandparents who spoil the crap out of my kids on their birthdays. With awesome “make you smarter” toys that (usually) don’t make noise and (usually) don’t break in fifteen seconds.

But this still does not explain the plethora of toys in my house. Do they multiply? Do they get it on like a XXX version of Toy Story (R) when I’m sleeping and the lights are out?

I have no idea. I’d like to catch them in the act, if so. Not to stop them (who am I to deprive the toys some fun lovin’?) No, I’d just like to offer them some condoms or maybe the pill so that they don’t keep breeding more baby toys that my kids don’t play with.

My favorite is when the three year old dumps every single toy on the floor at the same time (in the midst of my saying “Don’t forget, you have to pick up everything you get out!”). Then proceeds to play with none of them and then, when I tell her it’s time to pick up she protests “It’s TOO MANY!!!” *sigh*

So, yes, when I see a legitimately broken toy I do a tiny little dance of joy because I can downsize and make room for the next litter that will inevitably be birthed within the next few days.

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